JenniOni
by Mikmo-Eonic
Summary: Several personified nations from the world of Jennifer Government NationStates enter a supposedly haunted mansion in hope of some thrills. What they find instead is bound to drive them all insane.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia, HetaOni, Ao Oni, or anything else. I suppose I don't own most of these characters either, as several of my friends created them. **

This is essentially going to be HetaOni, except with a slightly different plot and the personifications of nations from the online game NationStates. There will still be Steve, the...erm...I won't put any spoilers in this part. However, if you haven't played through a large portion of HetaOni yet, or at least watched a Let's Play or animation for a large part of it, I'd recommend not reading this unless with have no issue with spoiling a large part of the story line.

Quickly, here are the descriptions of most of the characters. Keep in mind, most of these are based in some way or another off of Hetalia characters - especially the outfits.

**The Altaiirian Empire (Altaiire)**

Female, brown hair tied up in two ponytails, blue eyes. A military uniform similar to Greece's.

**The Imperial Federation (Xanixi)**

Male. Short black hair and green eyes. A bomber jacket like America's, except black with white 'fur', and blue jeans.

******The Union of Emperican Socialist Republics (Emperica)**

Male. Chin-length platinum blonde hair and greyish-green eyes. A uniform like Russia's, except a black jacket and crimson scarf with orange armband.

**The Totalitarian Commonwealth of the Seven Realms** **(Alestria)**

Female. Long strawberry-blonde hair and bright blue eyes. A pink tank top and black skirt.

**The Imperial Sovereign Empire of Mikmodia (Mikmodia)**

Teenage male. Dark blonde hair, deep green eyes. A black casual jacket with crimson t-shirt or a black naval uniform similar to Japan's.

**The Imperial Dictatorship of New Scorpio (Scorpio)**

Teenage male. Black hair and brown eyes. Tan skin. Wears a military uniform like Romano.

**The United Socialist State of Svetar**

Long black hair done into a ponytail and amber eyes. Wears a military uniform like China's.

Now, without further ado...!

* * *

**JENNIONI**

****"Keep up you guys!" Mikmodia called over his shoulder, running up the forest path as fast as his lanky legs would let him. "'Specially you, North!"  
The incredibly tall nation farther behind scowled, ceasing his conversation with about public healthcare with Xanixi. "I lose to nobody, South!" Emperica roared, charging up the path to catch up to his younger brother.  
"I can't let some commies win!" Alestria shouted, racing ahead of both of others, Svetar following close behind. Xanixi sighed.  
"Am I the only _mature _person here?" he called after everybody.  
"We cannot allow them to win!" Emperica said to Mikmodia, scooping the smaller nation up in his arms. "We are the Awesome Emprussia!"  
"Da!" Mikmodia screamed.  
The two Russian nations charged ahead, Mikmodia screaming something about government farms in Russian, leaving Svetar and Alestria in the dust.  
"Wait up you guys!" Xanixi called after everyone. "We should probably stick together!"  
"Stick together?" Altaiire asked, remaining by her ally's side. "We're nations! We can't get hurt by the forest."  
Xanixi sighed, and merely continued up the trail, appreciating the natural beauty of it.

Minutes later, they arrived at their destination.  
"It's got kind of a desolate feel to it, doesn't it North?" Mikmodia asked Emperica.  
"Yeah. Sort of like Siberia. It's...nice."  
In front of the group stood a massive mansion, abandoned for decades and rumored to be horribly haunted.  
"So, Yellow, Durmatango, and Bukharabia are already here?" Altaiire asked Mikmodia, whose idea it had been to come here in the first place.  
"I'm assuming." Mikmodia answered taking in the place, "They didn't text me, but none of them really seem like ones to back down from a challenge."  
"Oh yeah? Well neither am I!" a voice boomed from nowhere.  
"Ah! Ghosts?" Altaiire asked, jumping back a little.  
"I know that voice..." Emperica said. "All too well."

Emperica stood silently for a moment, his eyes closed, and then walked over to a tree, delivering a roundhouse kick to it's trunk. A sharp _crack _was heard, followed by the tree toppling to one side.  
"Lesomaterialy!" he shouted, or 'Timber!'.  
Someone screamed, and soon a familiar country was laying on the ground, dazed.  
"And it's Scorp..." Xanixi said spitefully.  
"Who else called that?" Mikmodia demanded. "'Cause I totally called that!"  
The tan nation stood up and fixed his uniform, trying to look presentable to the others. The Scorpion Dictatorship had seen an incredibly tough decade, wrought with invasions, civil wars, and eventually the total dissolution of his homeland, being forced to flee to a nondescript group of islands off of the coast. Much of this was actually the doing of Emperica and Xanixi's combined effort. Well, actually, Xanixi worked out the details while Emperica slaughtered and pillaged, bent on revenge.  
"What do you want, parazit?" Emperica demanded, looming over the much smaller nation, a fierce look in his eyes.  
"Well, I heard Mikmodia talking about a haunted mansion at the meeting, and decided that if you were all brave enough to come, the the Awesome Scorpio was brave enough!"

"Hey!" Mikmodia snapped, "Only North and I can claim the title of 'the Awesome'! We are the Emprussian continent!"  
"But I am the awesome Scorpio! _THE _SCORPIO! Is there an astrological sign called 'Mikmodia' or 'Emperica'? I thought not!"  
"Whatever, bro. We're still more awesome."  
"You wanna go, kid?"  
"Any day, _South_!"  
"Only Emperica can call me that you dweeb!"  
"Enough!" Xanixi shouted, pushing the two younger nations apart before they started fighting.  
Though no one had any doubt that Mikmodia would crush Scorpio - what with the years of warfare he had waged with Emperica, which had culminated in the Dvesti God War, which had ended in 1561. Then again, Scorpio had been hardened by hundreds of years of desert warfare. So, it was really a toss-up.  
"Let's just go inside." Altaiire suggested.  
"Indeed." Emperica agreed, walking up to the door. He raised his hand to turn the doorknob, and stopped, a grin spreading across his face, then continued. He jiggled the knob. "It will not open!"  
"Is that so?" Mikmodia asked. "We need a way to open it..."  
Mikmodia's cat-like gaze drifted to Scorpio. "I suggest throwing Scorp!"  
"OR I can pick the lock!" Scorpio offered.  
"Wait!" Svetar said, "You can topple a tree with a roundhouse kick, but you can't break down a wooden door?"  
"I vote Scorp!" Emperica and Altaiire declared in unison.  
"I hate you all so muuuuch!" Scorpio said angrily as Emperica picked the smaller country up and threw him with tremendous force towards the ornate wooden double doors. Of course, they burst open easily as the entire nation of New Scorpio hit them with the force of a small freight train.

The group walked in casually, Alestria even offering Scorpio a 'congratulations'. The first room of the mansion wasn't nearly as ornate as everyone had expected. Snow white walls and light brown wooden planks for flooring. There were three always leading left, right, and straight, as well as a staircase to the next floor.  
"It's much...cleaner than I expected." Altaiire said, looking around.  
All of the other nations began making remarks about their first impression of the building, but strangely enough, Mikmodia stayed silent. Altaiire observed the normally hyperactive nation, who under normal circumstances would be literally bouncing off of the walls, now had a somber, almost grief-filled look on his face as he looked at his older brother. The boy glanced in Altaiire's direction, and quickly switched his expression to a cat-like smile.  
"Oi, North!" he said, running up to his big brother and grabbing him by his jacket sleeve. "Know what'd be fun? Calling Alice over here and peppering the lawn with firecrackers from the roof!"  
"That would be fun!" Emperica answered. "If only we had a large amount of fireworks..."  
"Maybe we should leave." Svetar suggested, looking around uncertainly.  
"Why, you scared?" Britannia, her older sister, asked.  
"No! I just have a bad feeling about this place."  
"Relax!" Altaiire said. "There's no such thing as ghosts! There are just demons, spirits, and angels!"  
"Besides," Xanixi added, "If ghosts were real, the scientific community would have gathered evidence of them by now."

The sound of glass shattering echoed from down the right hallway.

"What was that?" Scorpio asked, fidgeting.  
"Was it a ghost?" Svetar demanded.  
"No." Altaiire answered nonchalantly. "It was a demon."  
"It was probably just an animal that had gotten in." Xanixi explained, getting annoyed at his friend's superstition.  
"I'll go check it out." Emperica answered, walking in the direction of the sound, a smile on his face that made small children cry and grown men fear for their lives. "If it is a demon, maybe I can finally negotiate that Faustian deal I made during the First Aurora War."  
"You made a deal with a demon?" Mikmodia asked incredulously. "Doesn't that mean that he get's your soul when the deal is done?"  
"Yeah." Emperica answered, stopping and looking over his shoulder. The temperature in the room dropped about twenty degrees and his eyes filled with hatred. "But I don't have a soul. Only wisdom, hatred, and pain."  
With that he began walking again, humming a happy tune, the temperature returning to normal.  
"W-what was that about?" Svetar asked.  
"You get used to it after a while." Xanixi replied bluntly, sighing.

* * *

Emperica reached a large kitchen-dining room area, and searched for the source of the noise. His gaze fell upon a glass plate, laying in the middle of the floor, shattered into many little pieces.  
"Oh, Mister Demon!" he called out in a singsong voice, walking towards the plate. "I made a deal with a friend of yours. I believe his name was Asmodeus. The demon of wrath? Banished by Raphael? Destroyed half of the Imperium continent during the First Aurora War? I'm aware that he thinks that he got the raw end of a deal and wishes to strike down vengeance upon my people."  
Emperica awaited a response, but got none. He sighed and picked up the glasse pieces, searching for a place where the plate could have fallen from. There was nowhere.  
"Perhaps this place really is haunted..." he said to himself. He _did _indeed believe in demons and evil spirits, as his peoples' history was deeply intertwined with such creatures. "Materi Aleksis watch over me, I suppose..."  
Seeing nowhere to place the glass, he placed it in his coat pocket. The coat was an old PLA jacket, and wouldn't be cut through easily, as it was meant to withstand shrapnel from close range.

He returned to the place he had just come from, and was surprised to find it...empty. That's right - empty. No one was waiting for him! Not even South!  
"They must've left." Emperica said to himself.  
They must have all either gotten bored or scared and left without him. He chuckled. How could he blame them? He was becoming uneasy himself. There was something different about the mansion. For some reason, there was tension in the air...a bad feeling in Emperica's gut.  
He went over to the doors he had used Scorpio to bash down, which the others seemed to have closed behind them, and turned the knob. It wouldn't open - for real this time. Emperica sighed and chuckled to himself at the same time.  
"How...regretful."


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia, HetaOni, Ao Oni, or anything else. I suppose I don't own most of these characters either, as several of my friends created them. **

Also, Alestria is interchangeable with Seven and Britannia. *nods*  
Review, please! Or Emperica will arrive and chuck _you _with the force of a small freight train. Hehe...Scorp is probably fuming right now!

In case you didn't notice, almost all of these characters share at least some physical and physical traits with at least one Hetalia character - in Emperica's case, he dresses just like Russia _and _acts like a [bleep]ing psycho sometimes because he has had a history similar to Russia's, while I just thought Mikmodia would look adorable in Japan's outfit.

Also, like I said before - JenniOni will be much different from HetaOni in terms of how things happen - especially when it comes to the RPG aspects. I've messed with the plot a little too. Don't hurt me!

* * *

Emperica sighed and turned around, wondering where his friends could have gone, and why the door was locked. Mikmodia must have been incredibly scared to forget about his wonderful big brother. Of course, that wonderful big brother had tried to conquer him for thousands of years, but that was besides the point!  
"Perhaps he is pulling a prank on me..." Emperica said out loud, deciding to check out the hallway to the left.

His heart stopped a little when he rounded the corner.

Standing there at the end of the hallway, facing away from Emperica, was something straight out of a nightmare. It had grey, sickly looking skin that looked slimy to the touch, and long, lanky limbs with grotesque black claws at the end that were a brownish-black color, as if colored by dried blood. The most noticeable feature however, by far, was it's head. It appeared three or four times too large for the creature's body, and was supported by a gaunt, long neck, appearing as if it would fall right off if tipped slightly to one direction, bringing the creature down with it. The creature was huge, and stood as tall as the ceiling.

Then it was gone.

The creature suddenly vanished through a door at the very end of the hallway, leaving no evidence that it had ever even been there.  
Emperica internally shivered, exhaling the breath he'd been holding through the whole ordeal. "I must be seeing things." he said to himself. "I _did_ have a drinking contest with Durma before we left."  
He cautiously stepped forward, unconsciously reaching into his coat and pulling out a large sickle made out of silver - his preferred close combat weapon for centuries. He had been so surprised when the first communist revolution (the Red Revolution) had happened in Emperica, and his weapon had become a symbol of the worker. Couple it with a hammer, and not only could he swiftly kill a man in a violent (yet haunting) fashion, but also greatly piss Alestria off! Of course, the Tsardom was reinstated sixty years later. And then the Orange Revolution happened sixty years after _that_.  
He chuckled quietly, holding the sickle above his head, prepared to strike should that _thing _turn out to be real. The feeling of danger quickly lifted from him, and he proceeded to check the rest of the room in this area, all of which but a small restroom were locked.

Emperica decided to not search the room that the creature had gone into. Not because he was scared...he just had a bad feeling about it. He went back into the entrance room and followed the hallway with the staircase along the wall. To his surprise, at the end of the hall, there was a huge Japanese styled room to his left. There was a door to his right as well but it was locked. He searched the room and the sliding door closets for anything that could open the front door. Much to his disappointment, nothing was found.

Getting frustrated, he decided to check upstairs. Returning to the staircase, he ascended slowly, weapons at the ready. Several minutes of rattling doorknobs later, Emperica discovered that three of the six doors on this floor were indeed unlocked. They were all bedrooms with pure white walls and had one or two large beds and a plasma TV in them. Two of them were absolutely _huge _for a bedroom. Emperica thought that if he were to live in this mansion, he could probably feed, house, and train a fully-grown fighting bear in one of those rooms. There really wasn't anything of interest in the first room. but the second and third ones surprised him greatly.

At first glance, the second bedroom appeared to be nothing special - exactly like the first one. However, something caught his eye on the bed. A shiny metallic object, maybe as big as Emperica's head It had a long, wide tube and nozzle coming from an oval tank of sorts. He approached it, and picked it up, turning it around in his hands. He shook it, and was surprised to hear a viscous liquid sloshing inside.  
"Is this...Altaiire's little flamethrower?"  
He smiled fondly, remembering the short while when everyone had been forced to move in together because of a horrid blizzard in Mikmodia that had closed down all travel in or out of the country. Even all of the ports were nearly frozen over. Altaiire, always the neutral one, had devised this vicious little weapon for clearing snow and chasing the mailman. You simply hooked it to your belt, held the nozzle, and pulled the trigger. Liquid flame would rush out at an alarming rate. Though she never admitted it, Emperica had a sneaking suspicion that he made her nervous, being in the same building as her. He _did _love looming over unsuspecting nations and then annexing or conquering him. That's why Emperica was so angry at Xanixi for foiling his latest attempts to acquire a little territory in the Federation known as Finland. He really did desire that insignificant patch of land.  
"Why ever would Altaiire bring her little flamethrower here? Was she perhaps...scared?"  
He chuckled and turned the safety on on the flamethrower, then stuffed it inside his jacket, which was rumored to have an infinite amount of space inside.

He exited the room and entered the next. It was much the same as the room he'd found Altaire's flamethrower in, except for a yellow piece of long fabric hanging on the back wall.  
"A closet?" Emperica asked himself, walking over to the cloth and pushing it aside.  
He yelped when a person jumped out, screaming something about "the fucking Edicts!" and trying to punch him anywhere they could reach. He noticed a familiar looking pair of pigtails.  
"Altaiire?" he asked lowering his sickle and tilting his head to one side in a child-like manner, despite being the oldest nation in the building.  
"E-Emperica?" Altaiire asked shakily, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad to see you. YOU, of all people."  
Emperica smiled and observed Altaiire for a moment. She looked shaky - almost frightened.  
"What happened to you? Where are the others?" he asked.  
"Didn't you see it?"  
"See what?"  
"The freaking spectre! The grey monster with the claws!"  
Emperica's eyes involuntarily widened, and he almost dropped his hammer.  
"You mean...that thing is real?"  
"Of course it's real!"  
"So...I wasn't hallucinating?"  
"No."  
Emperica took a deep breath. "That's...regretful. So, what happened?"  
"Not much beyond that thing showing up and us all booking it in opposite directions."  
Emperica sighed. "Alright then. Let's go find the others."  
"Eh, wait! I need a weapon in case that _thing _shows up again!"  
"What a coincidence!" he exclaimed, removing the flamethrower from his jacket. "I found this little trinket while searching for everyone."  
"Oh! Um...thanks."  
"Now, let's go."  
"Oh, eh...Emperica..."  
"Yes?"  
"I...I'm too weak from hunger. Could you find me something to eat?"  
"_Something to eat? In this place?_" Emperica thought, before replying. "I suppose."  
She handed him a key. "I also found this while I was running. Maybe it'll be useful?"  
"Da. Thanks..."  
With that, Emperica gave Altaiire one of his best glares - the kind that, like his smiles, made small children cry and run for their mothers. "Coward." he muttered under his breath.

He gave her a warm smile that didn't match his eyes at all and left the room, closing the door behind him. He took a look at the key. Barely visible, the words 'Library - I' were scratched into the key.  
"It's place to start." he muttered, setting off on his search.  
After trying the key in every door on the first floor, he finally discovered the library. He opened the door and stepped inside, a large amount of 'bad' energy instantly hitting him. He had a bad feeling about this room.  
Going further into the room, he saw several ceiling high bookshelves, stocked with countless books. Oddly enough, they weren't dusty in the slightest. He loved books. They were often the only thing to entertain him during the cold winters of years past - before the necessary technologies for fighting knee deep in snow during a blizzard in negative thirty degree weather were invented. Combat would come to a standstill everywhere in Emprussia, unless it was an extra important battle.  
"I mustn't be distracted!" he told himself. "I must search for the others. And food for Altaiire."

He walked over to a wooden table filled with papers and books. He sifted through them a bit, and came across a startling revelation. "These are in Russian."  
He held one up. "Why would they be in a Japanese-speaking socialist republic? This mansion has to predate the revolution."  
He opened up the book he was holding and flipped through the pages. The nook was describing some sort of combat technique. Something related to harnessing the energy of spirits and aura.  
"_It isn't impossible..._" he thought. "_They do exist._"  
He chuckled and put down the book. Sifting further through the pile, he discovered a key. "I wonder what it's to?" he asked himself.  
The temperature in the room suddenly dropped significantly, and Emperica himself shivered, feeling the cold as it seeped through his heavy People's Liberation Army jacket. A sense of overwhelming fear seemed to surface from the back of his mind, telling him to do nothing but run.  
Looking up, he saw it. The creature. It glared at him from across the table with huge, black eyes that seemed to be nothing but black holes, going on forever into the thing's head.  
"Der'mo!" he shouted, stumbling backwards as the thing leaped across the table at him with surprising speed.  
He raised his sickle, and readied his hammer. He did a 360 spin, bringing the hammer up to strike the creature on the jaw with amazing force and bringing the sickle to stab it. It dodged and lunged at him again.  
Emperica leaped away, and the thing and him began circling each other slowly, waiting to see who would strike first.  
"_You are quite the worthy opponent._" Emperica thought, his expression one of extreme sadism. "_I suppose it couldn't hurt to try something new on you._"  
He assumed his position again - hammer low, sickle high, and imagined a large amount of his own energy moving into the tools. Sure enough, he soon began feeling tired, but felt a sort of energy radiating from the sickle. The creature realized that he was preparing to strike, and lunged towards him, screaming in a horrid, distorted voice (that's right, _voice_): "YoU wIlL nOt eScApE!"  
Emperica leaped forward as well. "Face the strength of the proletariat, ublyudok!" he screamed, bringing the sickle straight down into the thing's head. It screeched into pain and seemed surprised at the resistance. Emperica raised his hammer and swung it into the thing's chin. It was sent flying with a huge amount of force - so much that the sickle ended up ripping out a large chunk of flesh from it's head. The creature didn't stop, however. It stood up shakily, it arms limp at it's sides. A sick looking brown liquid gushed from it's head wound and it let out another screech. "DiE!"  
Emperica's eyes widened and he stepped back.  
"_Run!_" he told himself. "_It's no use! Run!"  
_He took off running, booking it to the door. He tried to open it. "Locked?" he shouted to himself. "How can it be locked!"  
Twirling around he spotted both of the keys which he had dropped and saw the creature moving sluggishly towards him.  
With surprisingly agility for a person of his size, Emperica jumped over one of the smaller bookshelves and stood on top, leaping across to another one. He lunged towards the keys, and landed rolling, grabbing the keys as he went.  
The creature screeched again and charged.  
"Not today!" Emperica said, giving it his best glare. He sprinted towards the door and fumbled with the key for a moment before getting the thing opened. As his rushed out of the room, he felt a slight tug on his neck.  
He pulled forward and slammed the door behind him locking it. Breathing a sigh of relief, Emperica bought his hand to his neck, feeling his own pulse. Then it hit him.  
"Bastard stole my scarf!"

He felt rage seep through his body. He loved that scarf! His big sister Lithesaea had given that scarf to him!  
He twirled around and kicked open the door, breaking the lock and prepared to completely annihilate whatever was on the other side.  
There was nothing. The creature was gone. A few feet from the door was his crimson scarf, ripped slightly.  
Returning the scarf to it's rightful place on his neck, Emperica grumbled in Russian.  
"I best find everybody else. Fast."  
He sighed and decided to check back upstairs in his search for food, figuring if the _thing_ was hiding somewhere in the library, he should steer clear of it.  
Ascending the staircase for the second time, he heard a crash on the second floor. Emperica sprinted up the stairs, tripping over his own jacket slightly. Was Altair in trouble!  
"_No..._" he thought to himself, "_It didn't come from that room._"  
He quickly pinpointed the room the crash had come from and tried to open the door. Locked. Grimacing, he considered breaking the door down with his shoulder, before remembering the key he had found in the library.  
Emperica put it into the lock and twisted. To his surprise, it worked.  
He smiled, and readied his weapons before kicking the door open, scanning the room.  
"Stay where you are, asshole!" a man shouted. A weapon cocked, and Emperica came face to face with a revolver.  
"Xani?" Emperica asked, putting on a Cheshire Cat smile. "It is good to see you in one piece, comrade!"  
Emperica quickly wrapped his arms around Xanixi and lifted him up off the ground, squeezing him tightly in a bear hug.  
"Yeah." Xanixi replied, choking a bit from the strength of Emperica's hug. "Good to see you too, Emp."  
Emperica dropped him and smiled, before remembering the door. He kicked it closed while still facing Xanixi, then contemplated locking it. He did.  
"Good thinking." Xani said, nodding. "We wouldn't want any surprise visitors, would we?"  
"Nyet, of course not."  
The two walked over to one of the beds in the room. Emperica sat down and Xanixi leaned against the wall.  
"Have you found any of the others?"  
"Altair is in a different room on this floor. I think she's still okay."  
Emperica looked up at the ceiling for a moment, as if it would divulge the others' locations. "That's it. I haven't found Mikmodia or anyone else. Mind telling me what made you all scramble?"  
"You haven't seen it, then?"  
"Oh, the demon? I have! I even did battle wi-"  
"You fought the fucker?"  
"Oh, da. I barely escaped with my life, though."  
"That thing showed up out of nowhere. Svetar was the first one to scream. We all ran in separate directions."  
"How unfortunate. My poor little Mikmodia, lost in this mansion, alone, pursued by a demon!"  
"Don't call it that!" Xanixi snapped.  
"Why?"  
"Because. We have no idea what it is, and I don't even believe in ghosts, let alone demons or angels."  
Emperica sighed. "Xanixi: The Eternally Cynical Nation."  
"Hey! I-"  
Xanixi was cut off by pounding on the door. Emperica shot to his feet. "Prepare yourself." he growled.  
"Agreed. I hope that hammer and sickle isn't just for show."  
Emperica's grin grew wide and sadistic, his grey-green eyes filled with hatred. "Do you have a weapon besides that silly gun?"  
"Why, I _do_. A little reactor of sorts. Put it on the gun, turn up the dial, and _bam_. Each bullet feels has the force of a ton of dynamite."  
"Well, crank it up. You're going to need all of the help you can get."

Less than a second later, the door shattered, a grey beast charging through shrieking. "YoU wIiL nOt EsCaPe!"  
Emperica charged forward with an equally frightening shriek, his hammer and sickle held in their respective positions.  
Xanixi raised his handgun. A high-pitched whining sound was heard for a moment before a bullet fired, glowing white hot. It made impact with the creature, sending it flying backwards with the force of a stick of dynamite.  
Emperica bought the hammer down on the creature's head quickly. "I SWEAR." he growled at it, using the sickle to violently tear at the _thing's _chest. "IF YOU HURT MY LITTLE BUDDY."  
He drove the sickle through the creature's eye. "I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL."  
Emperica began giggling insanely as the creature began moving again.  
"Emperica, move!"  
Xanixi rushed forward and shoved the larger nation off of the creature and delivered three quick shots to it's head. It screeched and continued struggling to it's feet.  
"How the hell do we kill this thing...?" Xanixi asked under his breath, backing away.  
"As violently as possible." Emperica answered, getting to his feet.  
Emperica charged again and Xani continued firing, stopping to reload.  
Emperica dug the sickle into the thing's arm, pinning it to it's side and smashed the hammer into it's leg, hoping to immobilize it. It was no use,  
The thing shrieked and tackled Emperica to the ground. Emperica countered, pushing with all of his might against the thing, throwing it off of him and into the wall where it stood motionless for a second.  
Xanixi struck. He cranked the dial on the revolver up to 60%, and fired three clean shots into the creature's eye socket. It's head spontaneously exploded, splattering blood everywhere.  
Emperica staggered to his feet, holding his sickle-arm awkwardly. "Bastard slashed me." he muttered.  
Xanixi turned to Emperica and shouted, "Don't DO THAT!" in his face.  
"What, get injured?"  
"No! Charge it like that! Close quarters are it's best advantage right now. You play right into it's claws when you charge it!"  
Emperica scoffed, glaring at Xanixi. "Well, I'm sorry comrade, but I don't have a firearm with me. Unlike you, I didn't grow up with guns - I spent a good three...or was it four...? I spent a good something-thousand years using swords and arrows! We didn't even use gunpowder in battle until maybe 1089!"  
"That doesn't mean you can't keep your distance while I stagger it with my revolver!"  
"Spoiled brat! You were born into the Modern Age!"  
"Hey! I used to be Italy!"  
"You were never Italy! Feliciano and Lovino merely granted you their memories when they faded!"  
"W-wait, what?"  
"By the time you stopped being the punching bag of Europa, it was the 1600s already! I had expanded across Siberia and Mikmodia was exploring the world over! What did you ever do? Invade Africa in the 1900s?"  
"Mussolini was an idiot! That was a horrible period for my people! Besides, didn't you used to be a weak little nomad who couldn't take on a tribe of savages?"  
"That means nothing." Emperica growled. "I grew strong. I came, I saw, I conquered! I've seen more in my lifetime than you ever will!"  
Xanixi and Emperica continued glaring murderously at each other for a moment.  
"You aren't solving anything by fighting!" a woman snapped from the doorway.  
Altair stood there, looking a bit uneasy.  
"Altair?" Xanixi asked. "How long have you-no, that doesn't matter. I suppose it just matters that you're okay. _Right, Emp_?"  
"Of course." Emperica said, still glaring at Xanixi.  
"We have to work to do." Altair said, brandishing her flamethrower. Her stomach growled as bit, adding a bit of relief to the tension in the room.  
"You didn't happen to find anything to eat, did you Emp?"  
Emperica shook his head.  
"Oh! I found some mushrooms while sneaking around." Xanixi said, digging some mushed up white mushrooms out of his pockets.  
"I supposed it's better than nothing." Altair answered, taking half of them and greedily munching them up.  
Xanixi offered half of the remaining mushrooms to Emperica, who took them and stared at them for a moment.  
"What's wrong?" Xanixi asked through a mouthful of mushroom. "I know it's not gourmet, but it'll have to do."  
"It's not that." Emperica answered. "I've just never eaten mushrooms before. It's far too cold where I live for them."  
"Just eat them." Altair said, sounding exasperated. The nation of New Emperica had just fought off an evil entity and was complaining about having to eat mushrooms! She grabbed his gloved wrist and raised it to his mouth, force-feeding him the fungi.  
Emperica furrowed his brow and frowned at the taste of the mushroom, but reluctantly ate them all, forcing Altair's hand away and swallowing.  
"I much prefer Siberian moss." he answered, a thoughtful look on his face, as if it really mattered at this time.  
"Contemplate the secrets of the fungi universe later." Altair snapped. "We have a coalition to rescue."


End file.
